When we were adopting Libby we came across the occasional person with questions regarding why we adopted from China. "Why international adoption?", they would ask. We found ways to explain our decision - including China's plight, global perspective and the fact that it's just what God called us to do - and people seemed satisfied with the answers. While almost everyone was asking out of sincere curiosity and nothing more I found myself sometimes confused by the question. "Why NOT?", is what I'd be thinking to myself.
First, let me say - I love ADOPTION! - domestic, international - THEY ARE BOTH EQUALLY VALUABLE! So, please know I am not making much of international adoption as if it is somehow better than domestic. That is NOT what I'm saying.
But now that we are in our second international adoption the questions seem to bother me just a bit more. First, because most people seemed a lot happier about us adopting a baby from China than our adopting from Ethiopia. People used to smile real big when we said, "we're adopting from China" and they would often say - "we've always wanted to adopt a baby from China". Now, when we say, "we're adopting from Ethiopia" people just smile a little and say "oh, why Ethiopia?" I'm not answering this question with anger or resentment or out of defensiveness. I'm kindly, gently but passionately answering in a way that widens people's world views and perspectives, all the while burning inside for people to look outside our country's walls and see the dying world around us.
The last 2 questions/comments that have really made me burn inside are:
1. After explaining "why Ethiopia" - the person (who has never adopted at all) said - "well, you know adopting one child from Ethiopia is not going to make a difference"
REALLY? REALLY? Tell that to the child I adopt, okay?
2. As a person explained how he and his wife have always wanted to adopt from Africa (not knowing that that's what we're doing), he went on to say "but it really doesn't make sense to spend that kind of money when there are so many African American kids here that need homes."
The whole time he's talking I'm thinking this: Doesn't make sense? Adoption makes sense. PERIOD. Doesn't matter the cost or time involved. Doesn't matter "where". Yes there are plenty of kids in the US to adopt and yes - THEY ALL DESERVE FAMILIES AND HOMES. But in the US - they are most likely getting fed. They have access to the gospel, for the most part. They have free education. So, please don't say "it doesn't make sense" to adopt from Africa. PLEASE!
So - in case anyone is wondering - here's why we're adopting from Ethiopia - because in recent studies there are approximately 6 million orphans in a country that is only twice the size of TX. And if you want to see for yourself how even kids with families in Ethiopia are literally STARVING - click on this link. Anyone wondering "why Ethiopia" might understand better when they see this:
Click on this link and then scroll down playlist to "Famine Starves Ethiopian Young"
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2008/08/05/geissler.ethiopia.famine
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
In case you were wondering...
Posted by Cindy Foote at 10:38 AM
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13 comments:
Cindy, I have been reading your blog for a while now and let me say that even though I don't know you, I know you are passionate about this child and about your mission to adopt. All that to say, I love this post! Every expectant parent faces stupid questions by people that don't understand. As a mom that is pregnant with her 3rd, I've had my share. I guess you never think about someone asking such rediculous questions about adoption. I think what you guys are doing is fantastic! Keep pressing on....and I'm praying for Aria!
Cindy, I am so sorry that you experienced these type of questions, and I hope it wasn't while you were here! However, God uses you in so many ways! You have now educated people on International adoption and where your heart is. I think you are one of the most amazing people of the face of the Earth and you have been influencing my life since 1993~ I love you and I will be praying for you, Billy, Libby, and Aria, You are one of my best friends and I love you! Misty
I have also felt saddened when people seem really excited when we say we're adopting, only to see them kind of shrink when we say it's Ethiopia. What's up with that?! Driving me crazy.
I, too, have found there to be considerably less enthusiasm for our second adoption from Ethiopia than for our first adoption from Ukraine. I think part of it stems from the fact that we are no longer childless. Perhaps some think we should "just be content" with our two beautiful children and quit trying to "save the world." Others have actually had the audacity to suggest that Ethiopian adoption is some kind of trendy, exotic, "Angelina-wanna-be"-type project for people who need to feel good about themselves but do not want to see problems right in front of them. Those comments hurt.
I believe God has widened my worldview in recent years, and I pray that he will continue to expand my capacity to love those near and far away. I pray that my investments of all the resources God has made available to me will be utilized wisely, making the most significant impact for God's kingdom! While I understand that the adoption of one or two Ethiopian orphans does not address the root of the African orphan crisis, I firmly believe that the impact of one life changed is significant. My God cares about the one (Luke 15)!
Thank you for sharing with us, and keep passionately and patiently sharing with others who need your Kingdom perspective.
Thanks for sharing. People do not think that is for sure. I did not have anybody make that kind of comments to me but we did loose contact with some of our friends and I know it is because of our adoption. Sad. On the other hand we got to meet so many people because of the adoption.
love, Lenka
God has taken us on the most incredible journey of our lives. We are so thankful for all of our children.
I appreciate your candor in this post. I believe that most of those questions stem from the same place inside a person. I, too, struggle when faced with plain old bias. It always feels worse when it's wrapped up neat and tidy in some sort of poorly pieced together christian spin. I believe in what you are doing. By being the woman you are, your daughters are going to recieve such an incredible gift... Your strength strengthens me. Thank you for that. I hope to follow in your footsteps one day..... The 'desire of my heart?' Ethiopia.
Oh, I am so sorry for those questions, Cindy...even moreso, the hearts of the people asking the questions. What kind of fruit is that, which they are growing? A lot of yucky fruit, I tell ya!
I remember, when we homeschooled in Marshall (we are not homeschooling now). There were a lot of teachers in our church, and I always felt cornered by their accusing questions.
There is freedom in a kind smile in response and not throwing those precious pearls to swine.
Those little girls that God is entrusting to you are the light of Jesus and His treasures--the apple of His eye.
So thankful for you! For your love for the world! For your heart with beautiful fruit!
Holly
PS I wonder how Hosea must have felt?
I have come to understand that it is when the masses think I am crazy, that is probably when I am most intune with God's will.
I for one can wait to meet the newest Foote!
It was so good to see you this week. My Libby fixes helped keep me going during our wait. She is so precious!
People can say some stupid things. Having worked in an orphanage in China for years, people would say to me sometimes, "Oh...I don't know how you did that, I wouldn't be able to take it." What I wanted to say to them is "How could I NOT do it?" Did it make me ache inside to hold babies that I knew I would not see again? Yes. Did it make me rage inside to see neglect and abuse? Yes. But a few hours, days, months, years out of my life is nothing compared to the feeling of inspiration these children gave to me. I was the one getting the gift-- they weren't lucky to have me, I was lucky to have them.
For us, adopting from Ethiopia was our first choice. It's amazing because the Lord has brought us full-circle. Years ago He delivered us from the chains of racism and prejudice and taught us to love people just because HE loves them...no matter the color of their skin.
And what a blessing for our 3 bio daughters to learn first hand that seeing people for who they ARE is the most important thing.
I am praying that my children will feel a call on their life to work with orphans...whether that means adopting, or giving of their time and resources.
In our feeling led to adopt from Ethiopia, God has given us an amazing testimony and another chance to brag on His goodness.
Because He is SO GOOD ALL THE TIME!
My Cindy ...
Well, you know my thoughts on this one, girl! I just wanted to say "well said"! Aria Hope is ordained from the beginning to be with you ... all the way from Ethiopia (Psalm 139). The Lord knows her, her circumstances and YOU! Many who make such ridiculous comments speak of ignorance and blindness. My prayer is that they will open their eyes and see that your Aria may be only one child in the hugeness and crisis of the entire country ... but she is HIS one and even one matters to him! Should we all recount the parable of the lost sheep?Her testimony, your passion and those who are priveleged to meet you both, I pray, will be used by the Lord to continue setting a blaze in the hearts of his people to take care of them all. While they may not be called to adopt from Ethiopia ... they are called to care for the orphaned ... even the 6 million there!
With excitement and anticipation I await the journey to bring beautiful Aria home. It is with joy that I pray with you!
LOVE YOU!
The people who have the questions are (sadly) not often the ones who will listen to the answers. Of course, you're not alone; our Lord experienced this as well. Maybe that's why his answers often diverged from the questions!
I love your examination of WHY, though, Cindy, because it will be a good reminder for you, Billy and your daughters of the way God has ordained this from the very start.
Ultimately, the simplest answer is also the best: because God told us to do this.
Rejoicing with and continuing to pray you through the journey, with love in His matchless name!
Marti
Cindy, I'm not sure you'll remember me. I'm Juliet Lee (used to be Woodruff). Ever since my parents told me a few years ago about y'all being in the adoption process for Libby, I've checked your blogs on occasion. This post reminded me of an e-mail I had received, particularly the "Tell that to the one I adopt" line. I have copied and pasted the story:
Once a man was walking along a beach. The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. Off in the distance he could see a person going back and forth between the surf's edge and the beach. Back and forth this person went. As the man approached he could see that there were hundreds of starfish stranded on the sand as the result of the natural action of the tide.
The man was stuck by the apparent futility of the task. There were far too many starfish. Many of them were sure to perish. As he approached the person continued the task of picking up starfish one by one and throwing them into the surf.
As he came up to the person he said, "You must be crazy. There are thousands of miles of beach covered with starfish. You can't possibly make a difference." The person looked at the man. He then stooped down and pick up one more starfish and threw it back into the ocean. He turned back to the man and said, "It sure made a difference to that one!"
Your family is adorable! Thank you for sharing your adventures!
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