but it's not about me... it's about the story - the story of obedience that leads to fulfilling joy - the story of adoption. My adoption into the family of the King of Kings is big enough, humbling enough, moving enough, fulfilling enough to cause me to overflow - to cause US to overflow ("Us" being followers of Jesus - my family). Overflow into what? The WORLD! Yes, we are called the "light of the world" for a reason - because we were not meant to be hidden away - not meant to be withdrawn, quiet, passive. No! We are meant to spill over, pour out, shout out and work out our faith in Jesus - by the way we live, the way we love, the way we LIGHT UP the darkness!
For those happening upon this blog for the first time - my name is Cindy. My husband, Billy, and I are worship leaders. He is a worship songwriter. But neither of us believe that the most profound, powerful worship can be found in a song. No, worship - true worship is found in the way we obey Jesus. If Jesus says, "if you love me, keep my commands" or "if you say you love me, do what I say" (which, he does, by the way) then the best way to give Jesus honor - show our love - is to do just that. And since His very own word says, "the most pure religion is the care of the orphans and widows..." then, by all means, this is what we are called to do.
While not every couple is called to adopt - we are all called to care for orphans and widows in some capacity. In many of the Scriptures about orphans the phrase "and the foreigners among you" is included. An orphan is any fatherless or motherless, or lonely or neglected or abandoned or country-less person. And for those people - "the least of these" - we are called to go and RE-present Jesus.
For our family - we do this in multiple ways. Billy and I adopted Libby Song - our sprightly soon-to-be 3 year old - from China in Sept. 2006. We started that journey in Nov. of 2004 - yep, that's right - almost a 2 year process (which is short compared to China's current process). For two years I stepped out in faith that God could make me a good mom - a great mom. I feared - seriously FEARED... no, better said - I was TERRIFIED of becoming a mom. So every day the wait for Libby continued, I agonized with wonder/terror over whether I was really cut out for the job. I share that because obedience isn't always easy. But the joy - oh the sweet joy that comes when the walk of obedience is rewarded. The very moment I embraced Libby all fear was gone and I embarked on a new journey of life, love - love that now, because of a little, helpless orphan and a long journey, seemed more powerful, more poignant, more profound than I could have ever previously known.
Shortly after adopting Libby, three things happened. I felt called to adopt from Ethiopia. Billy informed me that he did not. And God brought a large number of refugees in our city to our attention.
I began to pray for God to change Billy's heart regarding adopting from Ethiopia. It wasn't that Billy was hard hearted. He was just enjoying Libby and comfortable with that - and maybe even a bit challenged with that - enough to not want more challenge. I occasionally asked Billy if he was praying about adopting. He was honest and said, "no."
In the meantime, we began the journey of caring for "the foreigners living among us". In San Antonio, there are hundreds of refugees from all over the world.
We began teaching the Somali Bantu English as a Second Language and caring for their children while the adults were in class. And then the Burmese refugees came to our attention. They are the Karen people - many of whom are followers of Jesus and were forced out of their country because of that very proclamation. So here we were with a beautiful Chinese daughter (and an African one in my heart) and who does our Father have us caring for - Asians and Africans - both with whom our hearts began to fall in love. Interesting in light of what I felt our family would one day look like...
A year after first talking with Billy about adopting from Ethiopia, Billy confessed that to obey Jesus he would indeed have to agree to adopt from Ethiopia and so a new journey began. In January of this year (2008) we started the paperwork to adopt an infant girl. In June (after some agonizing fingerprint issues) we submitted our dossier to Ethiopia. Today we've been waiting just over 4 months - with an estimated 5 more months before we even have a picture of our Ethiopian princess. Another long, slow, anxious journey that is sure to bless our socks off!
Why in the world do I share all this with you, you ask? To toot my own horn? - Goodness No! If any of this were actually my idea - maybe - but this was all Jesus in me deciding to come out. I didn't have a choice. I share all this because.... There is an orphan (as defined above) either near you or far far away - but there is at least one orphan you are called to care for. Did I say adopt? No. I said, "care for". What does that look like? You're going to have to ask Jesus. Beware, you may not like his answer. It may cost you something - maybe money or time or maybe your too-big-love-of-self - which is way harder to give up. I'm not accusing or condemning. I'm talking about reality and reality is - we all love ourselves and look out for ourselves first UNLESS - Jesus take over.
Today, this story came by way of a friend's friend to my attention. Maybe this story is the one Jesus will decide to step in through you. I don't even know the whole story yet. All I know is what I read on this blog: http://jobsdaughters.blogspot.com/2007/11/forgotten-boys.html. A woman/family who has adopted 5 children visits Kolphe while in Ethiopia. Kolfe is a "home" for ET orphan boys who have aged out of the orphange "system"....Here is a portion of this family's blog post about their visit to Kolfe. It's long - but like our adoption journey - it is SO WORTH IT!
After lunch, Ryan took us to the KOLFE older boys orphanage. This is where the boys over 12 years old go. This is also the place where Ellie raised $1200 for their library to be built thanks to the Franklin Academy Charter School and my friend Jennifer Hoffert. After today, I CAN NEVER FORGET THESE BOYS!!!!
We pulled into the facility that gave me the first impression of a very run down old prison campus or something like I have seen in the pictures of Germany during the Holocaust. Very depressed and unmaintained. We were greeted immediately by smiling faces and warm welcomes as numerous young men came out to see who was in the white car that just arrived. I was very nervous because I fully expected these young men to be cold and unsociable. On the drive there I was even thinking I would rather not go there at all and was having a conversation in my head that I would rather have gone souvenir shopping this afternoon. We want to get some gifts to bring home to the special people that helped us get here. Well isn't it just like God to show me again that He always knows better and has a plan for everything. Today I met some of the most DELIGHTFUL, HAPPY, SOCIABLE, LOVING, RESPECTFUL AND WELL MANNERED young men in my life!!!! (Teenagers as our society calls them) I AM AMAZED AGAIN! I must have been personally greeted by 30-40 young men ranging in ages from 12 to 18. They all had genuine smiles and either spoke fairly good English or were learning. They all put their hands out to shake, give their names and smile. Within about 5 minutes, my heart was melting again as I could feel myself falling in love with these boys. As Ryan started to give us the tour, they gathered along side and with "pride" started to explain what each building was. They were obviously excited to have visitors. I was so impressed with how well groomed and clean they were. They take pride in their appearance as well, wearing old tattered clothes, but still having a sense of style and dignity. They all asked questions about us, about America, about our adoption etc. They would all take turns asking questions and as some stayed with me continually as I walked. They very politely and in a very gentlemanly manner helped me walk along the very dangerous broken-up cement, big holes, rocks, puddles, etc. on the ground. You really have to look down because nothing is well groomed or smooth on the landscape. There were buildings with broken windows, sheets or fabric on them as window treatments. They looked like they haven't been painted in 20 years. Yet these young men pointed them out to me with pride and joy! I was so absorbed by their joy that I was smiling so big my face hurt. I was complimenting them on how they obviously worked hard because in spite of the run down condition it still displayed a sense of beauty. They had a vegetable garden planted among the rocks and they even have a flower garden. They were particularly proud of their kitchen that has a window that opens into the next room which serves as the dining room and theater. Hoptamu, the young man that was by my side the entire time and spoke English very well, was particularly interested in asking me how I liked everything as he showed me. He said they enjoy the movie room very much. He then wanted me to see their sleeping building. There were rows of bunk beds as far as the eye could see. It was like a barracks on a military campus. My immediate surprise was how neat, organized and well maintained it was. "PRIDE" everywhere. Then it was off to the soccer field where there was a game going on. The field was just a big dirt area full of rocks. It had no marked lines and the goals were made of the same Eucalyptus poles we see so much here. The netting was shredded and falling apart. It seemed to serve no purpose as any scored goals would go right through them. Even the ball was old and tattered. This facility holds up to 180 young men. There were a great number of them there but I don't have the exact number yet. While two teams of boys played, a great number of others watched and waited on the sidelines. Once one of the teams scored two goals, another team would get to run on the field to replace the losing team. We get so used to seeing boys in America play with the proper equipment, i.e, shoes, pads, uniforms. These boys had none of that. They played in beat up tennis shoes, no pads, no matching uniforms. Some only wore one sock. We watched for about 30 minutes, or I should say we talked with a great number of them on the side lines. I felt like I was in such an unusual situation. I can't really describe it.. The place was so depressing, sad, run down, and yet there was such a spirit of joy that it was contagious. As many of you know about me, I don't do superficial. I believe I was there for the purpose of loving on these young men, to encourage them and to let them know that they matter to me and to God. I asked questions of them like, "What do you want to be when you grow up? The answers were: doctors, electrician, carpenter, teacher, go to America, etc. They have dreams and aspirations, desires and goals to be a positive influence and contributors to society. They love to study. They told us they only play soccer on weekends because the rest of the time they study. It is obvious because they too had great questions for us and I was amazed at how well they spoke English.
There were three conversations I had that impacted me the most. I asked if they have a lot of physical fights among them. They all sincerely looked at me with a sense of surprise and almost disgust. Several of them shouted out the following answers: "No, never!" ; "We love each other."; "We respect each other." "We use our minds to settle problems, as he pointed to his temple area." "We are a family here." We witnessed an example of this as Jerry noticed in the distance one of the older boys who was wearing shoes had accidentally stepped on the foot of another. They both respectfully treated each other with compassion and respect.
The second, a older young man about 16 yrs old told me, "This facility is about 30 years old and the government does not maintain it. He said many people come to visit, take lots of pictures but they never come back and they never do anything to help us." He was not angry or resentful at all, he spoke very softly and like it was just a fact of life. He was very joyful even as he told me this.
The third was, "Are there compounds like this in America where boys don't have a mother or a father?". This one crushed my spirit and heart. I told him we did have some children in America that have not parents too. I was immediately struck with the fact that I could not say we had compounds like this. Later, when we drove away Ellie said this was the time she too fought hard to hold back the tears.
These young men even treated Ellie with great respect, honor and genuinely asked her lots of questions. At the soccer game when I was surrounded by about 20 young men, I told them how Ellie raised $1200, (or about $11,000 Birr) to help fund their soon-to-be library. They all looked very surprised, eyebrows raised, eyes opened wide, and a very sincere thank you was expressed to her. They bowed their heads and said "thank you very much". Again those of you who know me and Jerry would understand that we would never feel comfortable taking her into a compound full of young men. She is absolutely beautiful and such a sweet personality that we always have a huge hedge of protection around her. At first we were both right by her side. But I can't efficiently express how safe she was and how respectful they were toward her. It was unbelievable!
So here is what was etched in my mind that has caused me to know I can NEVER walk away from here and be one of those people that never come back and never do anything to help them. Their beds are very old metal, the "pads on them", not mattresses, are also about 30 years old. They have holes in them, they are absolutely trash dump quality. The blankets and pillows etc. are the same. They cannot possibly keep them warm. Remember, I told you there are absolutely no heating systems in Ethiopia and it gets down in the 30's at night. The windows are broken and in desperate need of replacement. The kitchen was like something out of an old Gothic run-down castle. It was all stone walls, floor and no windows or light.It looked like a dungeon. We have photos that can only explain it because I can't even find the words. Their dining room and theatre was a run down building that had old tables that looked at least 30 years old. We didn't see any chairs so I wonder if they stand? The theater was an old 26 inch TV on a shelf with a couple of old benches in front of it. They looked like old bleacher benches from elementary school when I was a child. They are the most uncomfortable things to sit on. We literally had walk with caution throughout the entire compound because the steps everywhere are broken and the ground is all uneven and full of rocks etc.
I have not stopped crying since last night. These are the forgotten boys. No one wants them. I have to admit that until today, I was the most guilty of never wanting or even considering adopting one of these boys. I had all these preconceived ideas about how bad, dangerous and evil they must be and they did not really matter to ME. OH GOD, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!! I AM SO ASHAMED!!! I WAS SO WRONG!!! I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN! I know I must do something!
I spent this afternoon with some of the most respectful, well mannered, joyful, content, happy, sincere, genuine and goal-oriented young men that I ever knew existed. As we wrapped up our visit, Jerry literally had to come pull me by the arm and drag me across the compound. I was pulling away from him and all the boys started laughing. I told them I didn't want to leave yet because I was enjoying them so much. Jerry said we had to be considerate of our driver, he had to get home. I honestly could have stayed there all night. As we got to the car, the boys were following us asking if we could come back tomorrow. Some of them shouted out "DON"T FORGET US!" "PLEASE COME BACK!" I literally pulled away from Jerry, stood in front of them and said "OK, I WANT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU TO PLEASE COME GIVE ME A BIG KISS AND HUG. AND I MEAN EVERYONE!! I held my arms open wide and stood there as they looked around with puzzled faces. They looked at each other, and at Ryan like "Is she serious?" Ryan shouted out that I was MAMA to all of them. I stood there with Keziah in my snuggly as a line formed and I hugged, kissed squeezed and asked God to bless each and every one of them. They were laughing and honestly thought I must be crazy. Josiah was in Jerry's arms and was laughing out loud as he watched this whole thing. He then started to kiss Jerry's cheek repeatedly as to mimic what he was watching. As the line diminished I looked around and saw some shy ones that were not in the line. I walked up to each one of them and made sure they got a hug and kiss too, whether they wanted it or not. Then some other came running from another direction as if someone had gone to tell them what was going on. They said," I did not get a turn". Then a few of them came back for seconds. The young man who told me he wanted to be doctor for babies came back and I gave him four more kisses not just one. I stood there and waited until it was obvious there were no more in waiting. Even some of the older men that looked at least 18 or older came out to greet me and get a hug and kiss. I was so surprised! One of them held my hand for a long time and was speaking in Amharic, He did not speak English. When I asked Hoptamu to translate, he said, "He wants you to help him get out of here!" THIS WAS MY LAST CONVERSATION WITH ONE OF THEM!
Over the last several years the LORD has been impressing on us that pure religion is to care for the orphan. James 1:22, 27. We have been on this adoption journey for several years and have so far, adopted five children. We are now going to pursue adopting a few of these older boys if the LORD will allow and provide. But, for the first time, I now have a passion to care for the orphan in a new way. While I very sadly have to admit that I cannot adopt all of these children, and believe me I want to, I MUST DO SOMETHING to help make a difference and impact them in a some way. My heart and mind have been transformed! GOD HELP ME TO HELP THESE FORGOTTEN BOYS OF KOLFE.
So, what's in it for you? Well... nothing and everything...it's nothing short of a miracle what God does when we live the way He wants us to - for in the very act of being like Jesus - you meet Jesus in the eyes of an destitute, orphan boy who is filled with joy you have never known even with all your plenty - yes, even in a lonely child, a refugee, a homeless man. Look deep in his eyes, past the hunger, despair and dirt and you will find simple Jesus, the best and only kind.
I don't know how to help the boys in Kolfe. If you have ideas please go to this family's blog (link above) and start a dialogue. Take one step and you will begin to sense a fulfillment you have never known. Maybe you have gone to every self-help, Bible study to overcome some kind of despair from your own life and you still can't get over it. I promise you, when you stop thinking on your own despair and focus on rescuing others from their's - you will find that your despair is gone and indeed is now serving a great purpose. Rescue the perishing and your life will find the most beautiful perspective and finally... you will really know Jesus.
God's gift to me for today - the chance to hold an African baby!
