Meltdowns, Tunnels and Unusual Unruliness

Do I look unruly to you? No way!


Home study visits are D.O.N.E. done! YEAH!!!!!!!!!! Sarah is the name of our case worker and she was phenomenal! She's a rock solid believer in Jesus. She's sweet, beautiful, professional, AND she was incredibly flexible with our out-of-sorts-toddler. Here's the story...

Remember - we've been out of town A LOT over the last 2 months and when we travel a lot Libby gets extremely attached to me and extremely not attached to Billy. This makes our job on the road difficult, but we recognize the pattern and things usually go back to normal by the second day at home. However, Billy went on a fishing trip right after we returned home from one trip and arrived home just hours before our first home study visit. So, Libby had not had a chance to get used to her daddy again. (To some, I realize this sounds strange. But try traveling to different events, hotels, conferences, churches, nurseries, etc with a toddler and see if she isn't just terrified by the lack of schedule and the constant change. Libby's coping mechanism is just to cling to mommy. It's not anything personal against her daddy. It's just how she manages to find security when everything around her is changing. She did this in the very beginning of her sweet life the day we flew home from China. Up until that day she was attached to both Billy and I. But on travel day, only mommy would do.... and that simply hasn't changed for travel situations). So, home study began with my personal interview with Sarah. Billy decided to take Libby on a car ride so she could watch a movie and be out of the way for the interview. But Libby proceeded to completely melt down as she was taken from me and after 10 minutes of Billy trying to get her into the car seat he came back inside and said, "I don't know what to do" (not exactly what you want your case worker to hear your husband say, but oh well). And Libby came running and screaming to me. From that moment on Libby was with me for the interview and she was a bit of a challenge to please. I was never embarrassed or worried about it because that's just what happens with toddlers sometimes, but I was slightly disappointed because this was not the way Libby usually acts. She is such a content, laid back girl and that certainly didn't come across on day one with Sarah.

Billy finished his individual interview that same afternoon. Both our interviews went well. Basically, Sarah had a long list of questions that she had to ask us face to face. So, although we covered much of the info in our paperwork and autobiographies, we had to discuss it all in person. The questions range from family history questions to financial questions to philosophy on parenting, disciplining and our understanding of the potential risks in adopting internationally. There is no topic left untouched.

On Monday afternoon (after yet another weekend of travel - to Alabama and back, this time) we drove to Austin to have our 3rd meeting with Sarah. This time we agreed to meet at a Starbucks on a particular street, so Billy and I drove thinking we'd find it with ease. Well, there was no Starbucks on that street so we found the closest one and waited to see if she would show. My cell phone broke over the weekend and it was the only place I had Sarah's number stored, so I had no way of contacting her (silly me!). A few minutes after 3pm Sarah called and said "where are you guys?" So after a little confusion we finally decided to meet at a nearby Chic-Fil-A so Libby could play on the playground while we had a 2 hour interview.

That really was a great plan...... if only Libby would play on the playground without us being on the playground equipment with her. After an hour of juggling our toddler at a table (and believe me, we tried everything from chewing gum (which she swallowed 3 times) to cookies and cream milkshakes and movies) we ended up finding an outlet in the playground room where Sarah could plug in her laptop and we could proceed with the interview. Oh yes - picture it.... Our sweet, flexible case worker sitting in a chair politely typing away and asking personal questions in a small corner under colorful playground tunnels as I literally explored through the tunnels above her with Libby jabbering away. Seriously! I was answering Sarah's questions from inside the tunnels (and I was wearing 2 inch heel boots as we crawled through that small space - I might add) and saying things like "what was the question?" as I began to perspire and pant from the exercise of squeezing my adult sized body through tiny tunnels, in heals, with Libby on my lap because, of course, Libby could not just crawl ahead or behind me - only ON me. The more I have thought about that moment the more I have laughed - both because somehow I was calm through all of that and because Sarah made it seem like that was a normal interview - which I am certain it was NOT!

The next day Sarah kindly met us in our hotel room and still Libby was all over the place. I think sitting and answering another person's questions was just not Libby's idea of fun. She wanted our full attention and she was going to get it somehow. Oh well! Sarah was wonderful to put up with us and we are feeling good about the fact that somehow we never felt like we should be embarrassed or in a panic over the unusual unruliness of our daughter.

1000 questions have been successfully answered (not the actual number, I'm sure) and home study visits are over! Whew! Just waiting on our home study report to be written up, approved, notarized, shipped to USCIS and so on....

Thanks for all your prayers!
Cindy