Gracie's Birth Mother - The Story

Billy's four hour drive into the country side was quite an experience. He assured me today that at least 5 different times he thought they might die. There are no laws on the road, it seems. Animals, people crowd the streets and cars drive however, wherever the drive wants - no matter what side, what speed, or what is in front of them. He was happy to arrive at the destination before dark. Billy and "T" were able to find Gracie's birthmother quite easily. She lives in a grass roof hut. She knew they were coming and had prepared coffee for them. There were kids running around, but none of them are hers. Gracie was her first born. "T" was able to translate for Billy as Billy asked some questions and shared some thoughts. Billy was able to tell her that Gracie will never have to worry about food or clothing or school because God has provided for our family and we will take great care of her. He broke down telling her that and he said that Gracie's birth mom teared up and one tear fell down her cheek. He shared with her that we are Christians. "T" explained to her that we are ministers. He later told Billy that being a minister here is a big deal and that for her to know that her daughter is in a minister's family was very comforting and good news for the birth family. Billy communicated to her why Libby and I were not there and that I was heartbroken that I couldn't come and she understood. He told her we are very grateful to her that she chose to give Gracie life. He also asked if there is anything she wanted to say to her daughter that Billy could video tape. She shared some things about why she had to give Gracie to the orphanage and Billy got about 5 minutes of video about that. Billy gave the birthmother photos of our family, our home, Gracie's bedroom and pictures of Gracie. He explained all the pictures to her and on the video tape you can later see the whole family looking at the pictures together.... Oh to know their thoughts. Gracie's birthmother did not have much to say and she did not show a lot of emotion. It is hard to know what she was thinking. Her story is a difficult one and she has been through a lot. I can tell just from her picture that she is a good woman, but that she is also very numb to life  - that's my perception, at least. The birthmother did ask the interpreter why we only brought her pictures. They were able to explain to her the laws/rules and that we would have given more but that was all we were allowed to do - pictures.... I understand why this is the case. But it is so hard not to pour out our love and wealth on her - and now, to think that she may not understand our hearts and how much we wish to care for her. That is hard.

I am so grateful to Billy for taking that trip. He was glad he did it. The pictures he got are great. I am trying to post one in which the birthmother is on the left, Gracie's uncle is in the middle, and Gracie's grandfather is on the right. I hope the picture goes through. This information, these photos and the video are priceless links to Gracie's life story. I only wish we knew that much about Libby's birth family.

About today - we went up Entoto Mountain and visited an Anglican church. Actually, Libby fell asleep on the way up so Billy and I stayed in the car with her. Glad we did, because when she woke she was NOT happy and it took a long time to console her (more about that in a minute). We then drove down to shop for traditional Ethiopian clothes for Gracie. We got 3 outfits for her and one for me, plus 2 scarfs, basket and 2 necklaces - all for under $40. We will do more shopping later in the week.

About Libby - where to start... she had diarrhea this morning. I'm pretty sure it is just because she happened to eat a little yesterday AND the antibiotics she was on this week are known to upset tummies. But for the rest of the day (minus about 5 minutes of eating Cheezits) she would not eat ANYTHING! She has not been eating for most of the trip and today I can tell that she is week. She slept all night. Fell asleep again at 10AM and then went to sleep again at 3pm and I had to wake her at 6PM. Every time she wakes up she says she's hungry, but the minute I prepare something for her she refuses to eat. She is so emotional and throwing big fits that are not normal. She grits her teeth and stiffens her legs out and kicks and almost growls in anger. She's been hitting me and then hugging me the next second. She wants to sit on my lap, but she doesn't want me to touch her. Finally this evening one of the dad's asked if he could do anything for her and I just started crying. I am so worried about meeting Gracie tomorrow with Libby being like this. Not to mention that we will meet Gracie right around the time of day that Libby is most tired. The dad - Mike Sweeney - asked if he could pray. The minute he started praying Libby was quiet and still. The minute he stopped praying she went back to crying and kicking. I couldn't make sense of what she wanted at all so I took her upstairs and held her while she kicked and screamed until she finally stopped. We watched a little video together while she calmed down and since then she has been fine. She ate 2 bites of oatmeal and a small portion of ice cream and she's been playing with the other kids here since then. Hopefully she is turning a corner. I think she is scared and overwhelmed and still very unsure about what getting Gracie Lu will be like. Hopefully when we meet Gracie tomorrow Libby will see that we can hold and love on both of them and  that we are not leaving her. I am seriously begging for your prayers for Libby tonight. Maybe if we had started the trip without her being sick it would all be different. But all I know is this has been far more difficult for her than I ever anticipated. My mommy heart has a thousand emotions about that right now.

The entire time I have been writing this post, I've been trying to upload one low res picture. It is not even 1/4 of the way loaded yet. That is why there are no pictures so far. Also, I can not get on blogger.com at all to read blog comments or publish them. But keep them coming because when we get home I will read and publish them all!

Lastly - there is a bar across the way (I thought it was a carnival, but no - just a bar) that has live and LOUD music that has been playing from 1pm to about 4AM all day and night both days here so far. It is constant, nerve wracking noise. It is quite right now for the first time so I'm hoping we will have our first quiet night here tonight. The Muslim prayers start at 4:30AM. I keep thinking about how there are no rules concerning audio volume here and how that would fly in the USA - especially people declaring their prayers on loudspeakers over the entire community before the sun even rises. 

Okay... still waiting for that picture to post....

Oh - a few notes for other AW families to consider. The TH only has electricity every other day. That means if you want to charge something up you either do it at night while the generators are on or you wait until the day you have electricity. That means you boil all the water you need for the day and store it in a container the night before the day electricity is off. There are no paper towels here, which I think would be a good idea to pack. There are no wash clothes - just hand towels and towels. Doesn't matter so much to me, but since there is only a shower and I don't want water to get in Libby's mouth, it would be helpful to have a washcloth. I have the pre-soaped clothes to bathe her with, but then I need to rinse her off and I have no washcloth for that. No big deal, but worth mentioning for other families traveling with little ones.

Libby travels with us all over the place. I knew this trip would be different, but I seriously underestimated the difficulty of this trip for her. There is another family here with their 4 year old. She is doing great. I think families with children ages 3 and under really need to consider the magnitude of this kind of trip - new time zone, no naps, long plane rides, unfamiliar food, new people, life changes and... let's not forget spiritual warfare - both regarding adoption AND being in a foreign land. That is so much to take in for a perceptive 3 year old who needs a schedule. Having said that, I still can't imagine having left her behind and I still have hope that this will get easier as the week progresses. I am still happy that she is in all the photos of our trip. It's just a lot to consider and every family has to consider their own child and his/her disposition.

Okay - still waiting for the picture to post... it may not happen..... nope, not happening... so sorry! Rest asssured - when we get home I will post LOTS of pictures!!!

Blessings,

Cindy

PS - DID I MENTION WE MEET GRACIE TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES! YES! YES!!!!!!

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Billy and Cindy Foote
Billy Foote Music, Inc.
3531 Hilldale Point
San Antonio, TX 78261
817.371.0689
www.billyfoote.com
www.myspace.com/billyfooteband
www.followthefeet.blogspot.com
www.adoptingaria.blogspot.com
www.libbysong.com