So many people ask, "What can I do to help?" Here's the answer!

Our adoption agency is seeing an increase in the number of significantly malnourished babies coming in to their partner orphanages. Our agency has a transitional home in Ethiopia where children/babies chosen to be adopted are taken in and cared for until the parents can travel to get them. Many of the babies can not be referred to parents until they are healthy. This was our daughter's story. Our agency cared for her for 3 months before she was well enough to be referred to us. That entire time, America World was paying for our child's care - and the care and restoration of many many more.  

Often, these babies tummies are suffering from Giardia or other illnesses on top of the malnutrition. And the malnutrition alone can be severe. Just south of Addis Ababa is a region hardest hit by the current famine. We are expecting to see many severely malnourished babies coming in to the orphanages as a result of this. For these reasons, our agency is hoping to build up a supply of 2 special kinds of formula which have a molecular structure that alloww babies to digest the formula with great ease, put on the necessary weight and take in the nutrients for which they are starving. But our agency can not take on this task without donations of this formula and then sending that formula over with traveling families who are headed to Ethiopia to get their children and can take extra suitcases of this formula.  

Our family will be headed to Ethiopia at some point this summer (Lord willing!) and there are other families in our area who will also be traveling soon. So we are currently accepting any shipments of these 2 formulas that are donated so that we can pack them up and take them to these precious orphaned babies. We are asking for any donations of these formulas to be shipped to our home by June 1 so we know how much we have to pack for our trip and how much we need to get to other families traveling who can help us deliver the donations to the transitional home in Ethiopia.  

The 2 formulas we need to send are called Nutramigen and Alimentum Powder Formula. They can be found at Wal-Mart or HEB - BUT since you are going to have to ship them to me from where you are, the best way to do this is to go to www.amazon.com to purchase the formula and then ship the formula directly to me through Amazon. Someone told me that Amazon has the best price. We need the powder form - NOT the liquid as the liquid needs to be kept refrigerated once opened AND it is too heavy to fill our luggage with. It is usually around $27 a can. It takes 2 cans to feed one baby for a week. These formulas are broken down so that weak, malnourished babies can digest it and get the nutrients they need. These formulas will save lives!  

Our mailing address is: Cindy Foote, 3531 Hilldale Point, San Antonio, TX 78261. Just let me know if/when you are shipping them so I can be on the lookout.

My deepest thanks!

Humbly,

Cindy

What A Week!

Above is a picture of our family on Saturday, April 11. We were invited to a Chinese restaurant by some sweet friends who are also working the Burmese family that Billy has been ministering to. So we all took that family out to eat and celebrated one of their son's birthday. Little did we know what God had in store for the next week of our lives....

The next day was Easter Sunday. We celebrated Resurrection Day with Libby in the morning. Then we cooked and prepared our home for house church. Around 4 PM we drove across town to pick up both the Burmese family and an Iraqi refugee family for house church. When we arrived home with our special guests other house church members began to arrive. We had a big meal and then worshipped. After worship our Iraqi friend said she was moved and she believed Jesus was real but she had more questions. So another friend of mine and I took this woman to Aria-Lu's room  and we shared with her and answered her questions and she became a follower of Christ. For 2 years we have waited to see God move this way among our refugee friends. This beautiful Resurrection Day was another amazing display of God's power to change lives. And our waiting was so worth it!

Monday we were exhausted after such an intense weekend. But I had promised to go across town again to meet an Ethiopian refugee. To make a long story short I ended up meeting 9 other refugees - 3 or 4 Iranians, 3 Bhutanese from Nepal and a couple of others from Iraq, I believe. The woman leading the ESL class, not knowing that I am just a volunteer and that I only came to meet the one Ethiopian lady, introduced me to this table of refugees as someone who could help them. They immediately shared all their distresses, not being able to find jobs, needing help with paperwork, etc. I was completely overwhelmed.  They all kept asking for my telephone number and the whole time they were talking I was trying to 1. understand their broken English 2. figure out another number besides mine to give them 3. make sure Libby was safe as she wandered around in an area that is NOT SAFE! I realized at that moment that my armpits were soaking wet and I was entirely stressed. I got out of there as fast as I could, put Libby in the car and proceeded to cry my eyes out. The stress of trying to care for all their needs was more than I could bear. That ended up being an emotional day all the way around, as I was still waiting for our referral call every second of the day!

The next day was Tuesday, April 14. In the early afternoon a package came in the mail. It was a long awaited contract. Since September Billy and I have been negotiating with a small label for a co-publishing deal. I am not at liberty to share all those details yet, but it was a glorious feeling to have that contract in hand after months of working towards it and really YEARS of Billy waiting for such an opportunity as this.

And as if that contract was not enough......That morning Libby said that Jesus was bringing Lulu's picture "tonight". There was a referral or two that morning for other families, so by the time 3:30 rolled around (which is 4:30 for AWAA and only 30 minutes before they close their offices) I thought I was in the clear and decided to take a bath and relax before I headed out with my friend, Cristie, for girl time. Of course, just after I washed my hair and stepped out of the tub, my cell phone rang and it was the beautiful numbers 703 - AW's area code. I answered excitedly and Terra asked if she should call Billy. Billy was with me, but we had her call his cell anyway so we could both hear the conversation without Terra having to hear Libby (like she would have if we had been on speaker phone). Once all the lines were connected Terra began talking and immediately her voice was hesitant and I realized this wasn't a normal referral call. She shared with us some details about our referral and this little baby's life. She had suffered from SEVERE malnutrition. Basically Terra was letting us know that while they chose this child for our referral we still had the option of saying "no." It was not the moment I had anticipated as I tried to work through the wide range of emotions and difficult information. This baby's story was so sad and I didn't know what questions to ask. 

After getting off the phone we received an email with our daughter's medical files and photo. I thought about sharing the video of us seeing her picture for the first time. But as I watched it I realized how guarded I was as I looked at her for the first time, not knowing if she would truly be ours. We were not sure yet if we were accepting the referral because we didn't have enough information. The medical files had typos and were somewhat confusing. I am very guarded in that captured moment and that just makes it too personal to share. The only way the video could be understood is if you know me personally and very well - then you might be able to read my mind and see all the aches and questions and simultaneous joy that was circling around in my head.

In the video Libby says some VERY FUNNY things. Before the picture pulled up Libby said "I want to see Lulu" in the sweetest, tender way. When the picture pops on the screen she said, "Is that Lulu?" And I said, "Well, we're not sure yet. What do you think?" And she said, "No". I started laughing, but I was thinking, "oh no." Up to this point, Libby had been dead on regarding several details around our referral.  So as she was saying this isn't Lulu I am thinking, "oh no, what if she isn't" and at the same time I'm laughing so hard because Libby went on to say, "She's black, she's really black." At this point I don't know why Libby is surprised by this after all the preparation I have done in talking to her about this.  As I was laughing and saying, "of course she's black. She's from Ethiopia" Libby said confidently, "That's not Lulu because" and she stopped to gather her words and went on to say something that - in the moment I didn't understand because I still thought she was talking about the girl in the picture. As I've reviewed the video I realized that she went on to say something to the effect of "she's white. Let me go get my dolls that are not white like that girl." She was trying to say that Lulu is not black ENOUGH. In the picture of Aria-Lu her skin is very light and Libby was saying that she was not black like her dolls.   So, on video we are like, "of course she is black." But poor Libby is like, "but the girl in the video is NOT black." Poor girl must have been really confused! 

While the video is subdued (and somehow funny at the same time), it is still precious to me because it is the moment I laid eyes on our Aria-Lu. I have NO WORDS to explain all the thoughts and emotions that were swirling around in me in that moment.

That night, as we prayed and wondered if this would be our girl,  I read my daily reading out of my Bible. Here are some of the passages that were on that day's page: 

Joshua 9:14, "The Israelites...did not consult the Lord."  - This was in the first part of my reading and it was a reminder to take this completely to the Lord and consult him.

Luke 16:19-17:10 - I won't type it all out here, but in this passage Jesus is telling a story about a rich man who was splendidly clothed and lived in luxury. And at his gate was a poor man named Lazarus who was covered with sores. Lazarus laid there longing for scraps from the rich man's table, but the rich man did NOTHING. And the story goes on to when the two have passed on and Lazarus is in heaven, but the rich man is separated from God. The rich man keeps calling out for pity, but Abraham answers him and says, "remember that during your lifetime you had everything you wanted, and Lazarus had nothing. So now he is here being comforted and you are in anguish."   - And right as I read that I knew I had consulted God in his word and I had an answer. I am the rich man/woman. And though our daughter was malnourished and there could be long-term effects due to that, it didn't matter. She was Lazarus - imperfect in health (but perfect for us!) poor Lazurus whom God LOVES. And I could NOT ignore her or I would be in anguish!

Then my prayer became, "Lord if this is not our daughter then I am NOT making that decision. You will have to do that by closing this door. I am putting this back on you. If this is not your will then make it impossible. We are moving forward with this one baby who, out of millions, was chosen for us. And if you do not close doors then she will be ours!

And then I read the last part of that passage, "In the same way, when you obey me you should say, "we are unworthy servants who have simply done our duty." And that sunk deep. This is not about us. We are unworthy of this precious calling. We are simply doing our duty and in that we are humbled and blessed.

The next morning is when Terra shared with me more of our daughter's story. She kept saying, "we understand if you need some more time to think about this." And finally I interrupted her and said, "you don't have to worry about saying that again. We have a clear word from the Lord that this baby is ours." I could hear the happiness in Terra's voice. She went on to share the story about our daughter's formula and after hanging up the phone I remembered Libby's sweet prayers and right then I realized how precious that confirmation was - that Libby was praying so specifically for this girl at just the right time.

It was a crazy Wednesday morning as we announced to everyone that we accepted our referral. We were still emotional from it all, but now I was able to rejoice fully and celebrate. We got dressed and I took Libby to Chick-fil-a for lunch and she celebrated Lulu's referral and our acceptance of the referral with a delicious ice cream cone!

And then we went to UPS to send our ACCEPTANCE LETTER!!!! (and money, of course). I love the picture below because Libby took it! She's good!

I can't remember for sure, but I think we also went to Babies R Us on that day and shopped for a few items for little Lu. We came home and washed the premie pajamas and put a care package together for Lu. You can see the items we put in a zip lock gallon sized bag. Another AW family who is traveling to Ethiopia this week to get their child is taking the package for us.

In the care package we included premie pjs with hat and booties, a photo book, a teething toy/rattle, wrist rattels, a silkie, 2 of our CDs and some letters to the TH staff and a blessing over Lu.

On this same day, Thursday,  I found myself sick and congested - and packing for a trip to Alabama. We were headed there to lead worship for a youth event in Dothan. As we packed I felt worse and worse and realized that I was probably going to have a rough trip vocally. 

Our trip began at 4:30 AM on Friday. Our flight took off at 6:50AM. Once in Dothan we met some sweet people and began ministry. Though I didn't feel very good (especially Saturday) we really had a great time. The people were awesome and they just jumped on every song and sang it out, even when I couldn't. 

On Saturday, in the midst of working and leading, we received a phone call from our real estate agent. There was an offer made on our house and it was decent enough to accept. We have been trying to sell our home since last June - 10 months ago!!! We've had 2 mortgages for 10 months and we had been praying for God's mercy - that He would allow our home to sell before we got Aria-Lu. The closing is now set for late May!

On Sunday we flew home - we walked in our front door at 11:10 PM. We were exhausted to say the least.  

Can you believe the week we had??? A refugee came to know Christ, we got our referral, accepted our referral, received a special contract AND have a buyer for our home!

God is so good!!! Everything we have waited for and longed for  - for weeks, months and even YEARS - was all delivered to us within ONE WEEK!

I have many stories to share about some other confirmations regarding our referral and some precious information that we were given by families who have already gone to ET and remember meeting our daughter.  I will share those in little tidbits as we wait for that much desired court date!

Thanks for reading along. To God be all the glory. Great things He has done!!!

A Thread of Dreams

God has spoken to our family in many creative ways over the years. Little confirmations at just the right time, words of encouragement, even some prophetic words that totally came true and were such evidence of how we serve the Living God! He still speaks! Of course, everything spoken over us or to us has always been measured by the Word of God as to its validity. 

Dreams and visions.... they seem like such a mystery to many Western Christians. But to some of my Iranian friends and other Muslim background friends, dreams and visions are a normal way in which God has revealed Himself to them. Many had dreams of a "prophet" robed in bright white and they had such a peace in the dream, but didn't know who the prophet was. Then, at just the right time, God brought someone to tell them the Good News of Jesus and they realize...that was the man in their dreams! And they become followers of Christ. I hear stories from various mission fields about this all the time.

The summer before we traveled to China to get Libby Billy and I led worship at our local church. After the service a man came up to me that I did not know. He told me that as I sang he had a vision of me pregnant. He said I was fully pregnant and glowing. And he just felt that I should hear about this vision.  I did not think much about it at the time. We were close to getting Libby and I assumed the vision had to do with that somehow.

About a month later we led worship at a camp. At the end of the service another man approached me that I did not know. He basically shared with me the exact same vision. He felt sure that it was not about our adoption but about a physical pregnancy that was to come.

A little history here, before I go on with the story: Billy and I have never TRIED to get pregnant because of some genetic issues on my side of the family. But we have also never used birth control. It's always been on our hearts to leave that to the Lord and see what happens. We have not struggled with the desire for biological kids at any time. We have always had a heart for adoption and we've felt very complete and normal in that desire. It has been the most natural thing for us.

Obviously, after a second vision that was explained to me almost exactly the same way - FULLY PREGNANT and GLOWING - I figured there was something to this. I called my friend, Terry and shared the 2 visions with her. She said, "Oh, Cindy, I have to tell you something". And immediately I wondered what she was talking about! She went on to say that her husband, Larry, had a dream about me being pregnant back when they lived in Africa. But the Spirit had not released him to share the dream with us yet. So we would have to wait until he was ready before we could know the rest of the dream.

Several months later, we already had Libby, Larry decided to share the dream. He dreamed that I was FULLY PREGNANT and that in the dream a man was chasing me with a knife. This man wanted to cut the baby out of me, but Billy stepped in and shot the man dead. He said that the dream was more about Billy's role of protection in the spiritual realm than me being pregnant, but he remembered specifically that I was VERY pregnant in the dream.

Shortly after Larry shared that dream with us, the Lord put it on my heart to adopt from Ethiopia. I struggled with it a little only because I wondered if the purpose of the dreams and visions were to put the desire in our hearts to have biological children. But the way in which I felt called to adopt from Ethiopia was so real that I just knew I was to move forward with that. Of course, at that time we had only had Libby a few months and Billy was not open to adopting again just yet. So, unbeknownst to me, I had another year to pray over it all. 

On Mother's Day the next year (2007) I was holding Libby during worship and praying that God would help us do the right thing - which I was convinced was adopting from ET. A woman that I barely knew approached me in the middle of worship and said, "The Lord just gave me a vision of you VERY PREGNANT and GLOWING. I don't know if it is a biological child or an adopted child, but it's going to happen VERY SOON." 

You can only imagine at this point how stunned I was that God was continuing to give this vision to random, but divinely appointed, people in my life! For months I continued to pray and wonder what all this meant.

At the end of December 2007 the Lord finally put the desire in Billy's heart to adopt from ET and the journey began. I have wondered many times during this journey if those visions were for a third child - a biological child - or if the visions were about adoption. 

Today a friend of mine sent me a message through Facebook about a dream she had last night. In the dream I was BIG PREGNANT and GLOWING as we talked about Aria-Lu and parenting in general. She said that even though I was pregnant, she knew in the dream that the pregnancy was for Aria-Lu who we were adopting. The two were one. And it was about to happen AT ANY MINUTE!

I am sharing this primarily for my adoptive mommy friends - especially the ones who, like me, have never been physically pregnant. This adoption journey is the most real thing. I believe these visions and dreams have been for the purpose of confirming that in the spiritual realm adoption is a pregnancy. God plants the seed of desire in our hearts to adopt already knowing what child he has chosen for us. And from that point on we carry in us the child to be in a spiritual sense. In the spiritual realm we are pregnant and it is REAL! And we are GLOWING! 

It seems that the first two or three visions/dreams were about Libby as I was very near to receiving her. The rest have been for Aria-Lu - our sweet Lulu who is about to be revealed to us! I am in tears right now as I envision the beauty of this spiritual pregnancy. My heart and my emotions tell me it is real. But as I walk around shopping for Lulu other people, for the most part, can't see what I know is in me. So to have others who have been given a special glimpse into the spiritual reality of this pregnancy confirm such is very much a comfort and encouragement to me. I am not journeying to find Lulu. God has already found her for me and in the spiritual realm she is in me ready to burst forth! Praise God!

I hope this thread of dreams is an encouragement to you and to anyone who is struggling with the idea of adoption. Adoption is NOT unnatural. But is IS supernatural! And for those who sometimes grieve missing out on having a child physically within them, know that in the spiritual realm you have missed nothing at all!

Blessings,

Cindy

A Little Update and a Special Video

We are nearing the six month mark in our official wait time. I have the major want-to-go-get-Lulu-right-now itch. I've started thinking about what I will need to gather for our trip to Ethiopia. There is some new news on one major travel detail. After much prayer and consideration of how Libby may process the adoption of Lulu, Billy has decided that he and Libby should join me for the trip. Originally he was going to stay home with Libby while I traveled to Ethiopia with my dear friend Cristie. Many months ago Cristie and her husband had offered for Cristie to go with me and I am so blessed to have a friend who would go that distance for me. I was so sad to share with Cristie that plans have changed because I know it would have been lots of fun to travel together and I know she's had her heart set on going with me. Cristie - I love you and I love that you were willing to leave your family for a week to travel overseas with me to get Lulu. You would have been an awesome travel companion! Thank you, also, for being so understanding. Love you!

While I am sad that Cristie is not coming, I am seeing God's hand in the decision for Billy and Libby to come. We know it will be a hard trip. With the short length of the trip, the time change, the culture change, the change in food and schedule - we are sure to have our hands full. But Libby is so perceptive and we feel like she will comprehend this adoption so much better if she can see it with us. I am excited, too, that Lulu will be attaching to Libby right from the beginning. Libby is so full of joy and fun that she is sure to give Lulu some precious first impressions.  We are already praying and asking God to give us many traveling mercies regarding Libby. And we are praying that God would begin to grow her understanding/comprehension of Lulu's adoption. We are also praying that traveling into such a different culture will make its appropriate mark on her heart for the nations and for God's glory - yes, even at her young age. It's possible!

Speaking of Libby - she turned 3 last Sunday. She's been potty trained for almost 2 months now. She is growing like a weed and is smarter than she should be (haha!). She walked by Lulu's baby room the other night and said, "Good night, Lulu"  - totally on her own with no prompting from us. She is starting to understand that a real baby will one day occupy that room - her baby sister. I can't wait to see her mature as a big sister to Lulu.

Libby has been helping us create a special video journal to Lulu. I keep trying to post the second and third video entries - but it's not working. For now, here's the first entry - Hope you enjoy!  (before you push the play arrow for the video - make sure you scroll up to the top right music box and stop the music that's playing!).

Video Tom Davis Showed at Gala - AMAZING!

A Special Memory - and the Half Way Mark?

Today many who have been waiting for successful court dates and travel dates were disappointed by news of failed court and delayed travel. These waiting families must ache so much. Some have had a referral for 5 months! Can you imagine having a picture of your child and being completely incapable of getting to that child for 5 months and still have no certainty of when you will finally be able to embrace her? People who have not adopted will find it hard to understand, but a mighty, miraculous thing happens when you get the picture of your baby. You suddenly know and love a child you have never met. You instantly take on every emotion as a biological parent would feel. It's powerful, unexplainable, and overwhelming. The Scripture that says, "a hope deferred makes the heart sick" is so true. Please pray for those waiting and hoping to pass court and travel soon!

As for our family and adoption news - well, not much news, but if the estimate of 9 months still stands for the wait time for an infant girl - then we have passed the half way mark. And though there is no certainty that this is really the half way mark for us - its worth celebrating simply because it helps the wait time go by!

So - what is the special memory, you ask? It is more than special. I can't believe I haven't thought about this sooner. It's just plain beautiful how God set up this story (our ET adoption story)-

In February 2005 we had just begun the paperwork for our China adoption (Libby's adoption) when we decided to fly to Uganda, Africa with a group to visit some friends of ours who had been on the mission field for many years to the then unreached Karamajong people of Northern Uganda - the bush of Africa, truly. There are a thousand stories I could tell from that trip, but there is one that applies to this blog and this adoption far more than all the others.

While in Morotto, Uganda we stayed on the Singletary's "compound" - a "safe" (LOL!) fenced-in area where the Singletary's lived when they were not living in a 3-man-tent on top of a mountain -seriously! In Morotto lives a group of ladies who have affectionately been named "The Lonely Ladies of Lia". These ladies (because of the Singletary's obedience and God's love) now know Jesus. Again - so many stories I could chase right here, but I'll refrain. The Lonely Ladies of Lia were so kind and precious. But in their culture they simply could not understand how I could be 30 years of age and have no children. They didn't know we were working on an adoption and it wouldn't have made sense to them anyway. So Terry, as a way to teach these ladies how to pray for others, asked the ladies if they would pray over me that God would give me a baby. And that's what they did. The put a dark Karamajong baby in my arms, laid hands on me and prayed.

At that time I thought it was so sweet and I thought about our China adoption and - NEVER ONCE did I ever think about how God might one day answer their prayers in His own clever way. So, I started thinking about this the other day and remembered that I had photos of this special moment: (get some tissue!)









and I even located my journal to see if I journaled about it - and sure enough I did! In my journal on Feb. 22, 2005 I wrote: "...so Terry took the opportunity to teach them how to pray and they all gathered and prayed that God would give me a child. They said, 'next time you come to Africa you will come with a little baby in your arms.'"

Little did they know - and even littler (I know that's not a word!) did I know that indeed I would come back to Africa and have a baby in my arms - only - I will get her IN Africa!!!!!!!!!!

Well over a year ago I received word all the way from Uganda that these ladies were still praying for me. I remember thinking then that if I showed up in Africa with Libby (our Chinese princess) they would be really confused about how God answered their prayer. I wonder what they would say if I returned to visit them with both a Chinese and an African baby? Their minds might explode!

This adoption story is so good! God is so brilliant, isn't He?! The only way this story could get any more perfect is if I got a referral on Feb. 22 - the 4 year anniversary of this moment of prayer. But things would have to drastically speed up for that to happen - so I'm not "hanging my hat" on that (I'm such a good Texan for saying that).

Enjoy 2 more photos of some other precious Karamajong babies/children:





You know those old "Where's Waldo" games? .... but this one is just too obvious. My sweet (and very white) husband sits with some of the ladies of Lia.
- Stay tuned for the rest of the story! - Cindy

Kolfe

Great news! If you read the previous post you learned about Kolfe - a youth orphanage for Ethiopian boys who age out of the ET orphanges (ages 12 and up). Looks like Tom Davis (author of "Red Letters Living a Faith that Bleeds" and "Fields of the Fatherless") has visited Kolfe recently and believes it is one of the orphanages he will try to find an American church to sponsor. Here's what he posted on his blog:

Today, we were in an orphanage called Kolfe, a boys home with about 120 kids. You would think this place so filled with testosterone, would be a bit dangerous, cold and resistant. Just the opposite. These boys had incredible manners, they showed so much respect to us, even bowing when they met us. And, it is dirt poor. They have nothing, and I mean nothing. They never get to eat meat, and don't even have the money for a hair cut. They just want the chance to be men, to make their mark on life and accomplish something. Many have dreams of going to college, and I want to help them.Sponsoring this place would transform your community, I promise you. I'll post pictures and video when I get home.I think we are up to 6 orphanages that will soon be available for sponsorship. I'm hoping to have 8 by the time we leave. The vision trip looks like it will be some time in April. Please email me if you want to come. Thanks for the prayers. God is doing great things in this beautiful country. With His help we can change the lives of these kids forever. Want to be a part? Just say yes!

But Kolfe has not been sponsored - YET! You - your church - could be the one to take this on! Click here to read the criteria for a church sponsoring an orphanage like Kolfe:

As you read and think about all this - May the following video impress upon your heart the need to get involved. It is the story of a Rwandan pastor discovering how to minister to those with AIDS. (click the stop button on the top right to turn off the music before hitting play on the video).

Red Letters Campain - Adoption Journaler I Am!

but it's not about me... it's about the story - the story of obedience that leads to fulfilling joy - the story of adoption. My adoption into the family of the King of Kings is big enough, humbling enough, moving enough, fulfilling enough to cause me to overflow - to cause US to overflow ("Us" being followers of Jesus - my family). Overflow into what? The WORLD! Yes, we are called the "light of the world" for a reason - because we were not meant to be hidden away - not meant to be withdrawn, quiet, passive. No! We are meant to spill over, pour out, shout out and work out our faith in Jesus - by the way we live, the way we love, the way we LIGHT UP the darkness!

For those happening upon this blog for the first time - my name is Cindy. My husband, Billy, and I are worship leaders. He is a worship songwriter. But neither of us believe that the most profound, powerful worship can be found in a song. No, worship - true worship is found in the way we obey Jesus. If Jesus says, "if you love me, keep my commands" or "if you say you love me, do what I say" (which, he does, by the way) then the best way to give Jesus honor - show our love - is to do just that. And since His very own word says, "the most pure religion is the care of the orphans and widows..." then, by all means, this is what we are called to do.

While not every couple is called to adopt - we are all called to care for orphans and widows in some capacity. In many of the Scriptures about orphans the phrase "and the foreigners among you" is included. An orphan is any fatherless or motherless, or lonely or neglected or abandoned or country-less person. And for those people - "the least of these" - we are called to go and RE-present Jesus.

For our family - we do this in multiple ways. Billy and I adopted Libby Song - our sprightly soon-to-be 3 year old - from China in Sept. 2006. We started that journey in Nov. of 2004 - yep, that's right - almost a 2 year process (which is short compared to China's current process). For two years I stepped out in faith that God could make me a good mom - a great mom. I feared - seriously FEARED... no, better said - I was TERRIFIED of becoming a mom. So every day the wait for Libby continued, I agonized with wonder/terror over whether I was really cut out for the job. I share that because obedience isn't always easy. But the joy - oh the sweet joy that comes when the walk of obedience is rewarded. The very moment I embraced Libby all fear was gone and I embarked on a new journey of life, love - love that now, because of a little, helpless orphan and a long journey, seemed more powerful, more poignant, more profound than I could have ever previously known.


Shortly after adopting Libby, three things happened. I felt called to adopt from Ethiopia. Billy informed me that he did not. And God brought a large number of refugees in our city to our attention.

I began to pray for God to change Billy's heart regarding adopting from Ethiopia. It wasn't that Billy was hard hearted. He was just enjoying Libby and comfortable with that - and maybe even a bit challenged with that - enough to not want more challenge. I occasionally asked Billy if he was praying about adopting. He was honest and said, "no."

In the meantime, we began the journey of caring for "the foreigners living among us". In San Antonio, there are hundreds of refugees from all over the world.


We began teaching the Somali Bantu English as a Second Language and caring for their children while the adults were in class. And then the Burmese refugees came to our attention. They are the Karen people - many of whom are followers of Jesus and were forced out of their country because of that very proclamation. So here we were with a beautiful Chinese daughter (and an African one in my heart) and who does our Father have us caring for - Asians and Africans - both with whom our hearts began to fall in love. Interesting in light of what I felt our family would one day look like...

A year after first talking with Billy about adopting from Ethiopia, Billy confessed that to obey Jesus he would indeed have to agree to adopt from Ethiopia and so a new journey began. In January of this year (2008) we started the paperwork to adopt an infant girl. In June (after some agonizing fingerprint issues) we submitted our dossier to Ethiopia. Today we've been waiting just over 4 months - with an estimated 5 more months before we even have a picture of our Ethiopian princess. Another long, slow, anxious journey that is sure to bless our socks off!

Why in the world do I share all this with you, you ask? To toot my own horn? - Goodness No! If any of this were actually my idea - maybe - but this was all Jesus in me deciding to come out. I didn't have a choice. I share all this because.... There is an orphan (as defined above) either near you or far far away - but there is at least one orphan you are called to care for. Did I say adopt? No. I said, "care for". What does that look like? You're going to have to ask Jesus. Beware, you may not like his answer. It may cost you something - maybe money or time or maybe your too-big-love-of-self - which is way harder to give up. I'm not accusing or condemning. I'm talking about reality and reality is - we all love ourselves and look out for ourselves first UNLESS - Jesus take over.

Today, this story came by way of a friend's friend to my attention. Maybe this story is the one Jesus will decide to step in through you. I don't even know the whole story yet. All I know is what I read on this blog: http://jobsdaughters.blogspot.com/2007/11/forgotten-boys.html. A woman/family who has adopted 5 children visits Kolphe while in Ethiopia. Kolfe is a "home" for ET orphan boys who have aged out of the orphange "system"....Here is a portion of this family's blog post about their visit to Kolfe. It's long - but like our adoption journey - it is SO WORTH IT!

After lunch, Ryan took us to the KOLFE older boys orphanage. This is where the boys over 12 years old go. This is also the place where Ellie raised $1200 for their library to be built thanks to the Franklin Academy Charter School and my friend Jennifer Hoffert. After today, I CAN NEVER FORGET THESE BOYS!!!!

We pulled into the facility that gave me the first impression of a very run down old prison campus or something like I have seen in the pictures of Germany during the Holocaust. Very depressed and unmaintained. We were greeted immediately by smiling faces and warm welcomes as numerous young men came out to see who was in the white car that just arrived. I was very nervous because I fully expected these young men to be cold and unsociable. On the drive there I was even thinking I would rather not go there at all and was having a conversation in my head that I would rather have gone souvenir shopping this afternoon. We want to get some gifts to bring home to the special people that helped us get here. Well isn't it just like God to show me again that He always knows better and has a plan for everything. Today I met some of the most DELIGHTFUL, HAPPY, SOCIABLE, LOVING, RESPECTFUL AND WELL MANNERED young men in my life!!!! (Teenagers as our society calls them) I AM AMAZED AGAIN! I must have been personally greeted by 30-40 young men ranging in ages from 12 to 18. They all had genuine smiles and either spoke fairly good English or were learning. They all put their hands out to shake, give their names and smile. Within about 5 minutes, my heart was melting again as I could feel myself falling in love with these boys. As Ryan started to give us the tour, they gathered along side and with "pride" started to explain what each building was. They were obviously excited to have visitors. I was so impressed with how well groomed and clean they were. They take pride in their appearance as well, wearing old tattered clothes, but still having a sense of style and dignity. They all asked questions about us, about America, about our adoption etc. They would all take turns asking questions and as some stayed with me continually as I walked. They very politely and in a very gentlemanly manner helped me walk along the very dangerous broken-up cement, big holes, rocks, puddles, etc. on the ground. You really have to look down because nothing is well groomed or smooth on the landscape. There were buildings with broken windows, sheets or fabric on them as window treatments. They looked like they haven't been painted in 20 years. Yet these young men pointed them out to me with pride and joy! I was so absorbed by their joy that I was smiling so big my face hurt. I was complimenting them on how they obviously worked hard because in spite of the run down condition it still displayed a sense of beauty. They had a vegetable garden planted among the rocks and they even have a flower garden. They were particularly proud of their kitchen that has a window that opens into the next room which serves as the dining room and theater. Hoptamu, the young man that was by my side the entire time and spoke English very well, was particularly interested in asking me how I liked everything as he showed me. He said they enjoy the movie room very much. He then wanted me to see their sleeping building. There were rows of bunk beds as far as the eye could see. It was like a barracks on a military campus. My immediate surprise was how neat, organized and well maintained it was. "PRIDE" everywhere. Then it was off to the soccer field where there was a game going on. The field was just a big dirt area full of rocks. It had no marked lines and the goals were made of the same Eucalyptus poles we see so much here. The netting was shredded and falling apart. It seemed to serve no purpose as any scored goals would go right through them. Even the ball was old and tattered. This facility holds up to 180 young men. There were a great number of them there but I don't have the exact number yet. While two teams of boys played, a great number of others watched and waited on the sidelines. Once one of the teams scored two goals, another team would get to run on the field to replace the losing team. We get so used to seeing boys in America play with the proper equipment, i.e, shoes, pads, uniforms. These boys had none of that. They played in beat up tennis shoes, no pads, no matching uniforms. Some only wore one sock. We watched for about 30 minutes, or I should say we talked with a great number of them on the side lines. I felt like I was in such an unusual situation. I can't really describe it.. The place was so depressing, sad, run down, and yet there was such a spirit of joy that it was contagious. As many of you know about me, I don't do superficial. I believe I was there for the purpose of loving on these young men, to encourage them and to let them know that they matter to me and to God. I asked questions of them like, "What do you want to be when you grow up? The answers were: doctors, electrician, carpenter, teacher, go to America, etc. They have dreams and aspirations, desires and goals to be a positive influence and contributors to society. They love to study. They told us they only play soccer on weekends because the rest of the time they study. It is obvious because they too had great questions for us and I was amazed at how well they spoke English.

There were three conversations I had that impacted me the most. I asked if they have a lot of physical fights among them. They all sincerely looked at me with a sense of surprise and almost disgust. Several of them shouted out the following answers: "No, never!" ; "We love each other."; "We respect each other." "We use our minds to settle problems, as he pointed to his temple area." "We are a family here." We witnessed an example of this as Jerry noticed in the distance one of the older boys who was wearing shoes had accidentally stepped on the foot of another. They both respectfully treated each other with compassion and respect.

The second, a older young man about 16 yrs old told me, "This facility is about 30 years old and the government does not maintain it. He said many people come to visit, take lots of pictures but they never come back and they never do anything to help us." He was not angry or resentful at all, he spoke very softly and like it was just a fact of life. He was very joyful even as he told me this.

The third was, "Are there compounds like this in America where boys don't have a mother or a father?". This one crushed my spirit and heart. I told him we did have some children in America that have not parents too. I was immediately struck with the fact that I could not say we had compounds like this. Later, when we drove away Ellie said this was the time she too fought hard to hold back the tears.

These young men even treated Ellie with great respect, honor and genuinely asked her lots of questions. At the soccer game when I was surrounded by about 20 young men, I told them how Ellie raised $1200, (or about $11,000 Birr) to help fund their soon-to-be library. They all looked very surprised, eyebrows raised, eyes opened wide, and a very sincere thank you was expressed to her. They bowed their heads and said "thank you very much". Again those of you who know me and Jerry would understand that we would never feel comfortable taking her into a compound full of young men. She is absolutely beautiful and such a sweet personality that we always have a huge hedge of protection around her. At first we were both right by her side. But I can't efficiently express how safe she was and how respectful they were toward her. It was unbelievable!

So here is what was etched in my mind that has caused me to know I can NEVER walk away from here and be one of those people that never come back and never do anything to help them. Their beds are very old metal, the "pads on them", not mattresses, are also about 30 years old. They have holes in them, they are absolutely trash dump quality. The blankets and pillows etc. are the same. They cannot possibly keep them warm. Remember, I told you there are absolutely no heating systems in Ethiopia and it gets down in the 30's at night. The windows are broken and in desperate need of replacement. The kitchen was like something out of an old Gothic run-down castle. It was all stone walls, floor and no windows or light.It looked like a dungeon. We have photos that can only explain it because I can't even find the words. Their dining room and theatre was a run down building that had old tables that looked at least 30 years old. We didn't see any chairs so I wonder if they stand? The theater was an old 26 inch TV on a shelf with a couple of old benches in front of it. They looked like old bleacher benches from elementary school when I was a child. They are the most uncomfortable things to sit on. We literally had walk with caution throughout the entire compound because the steps everywhere are broken and the ground is all uneven and full of rocks etc.

I have not stopped crying since last night. These are the forgotten boys. No one wants them. I have to admit that until today, I was the most guilty of never wanting or even considering adopting one of these boys. I had all these preconceived ideas about how bad, dangerous and evil they must be and they did not really matter to ME. OH GOD, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!! I AM SO ASHAMED!!! I WAS SO WRONG!!! I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN! I know I must do something!

I spent this afternoon with some of the most respectful, well mannered, joyful, content, happy, sincere, genuine and goal-oriented young men that I ever knew existed. As we wrapped up our visit, Jerry literally had to come pull me by the arm and drag me across the compound. I was pulling away from him and all the boys started laughing. I told them I didn't want to leave yet because I was enjoying them so much. Jerry said we had to be considerate of our driver, he had to get home. I honestly could have stayed there all night. As we got to the car, the boys were following us asking if we could come back tomorrow. Some of them shouted out "DON"T FORGET US!" "PLEASE COME BACK!" I literally pulled away from Jerry, stood in front of them and said "OK, I WANT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU TO PLEASE COME GIVE ME A BIG KISS AND HUG. AND I MEAN EVERYONE!! I held my arms open wide and stood there as they looked around with puzzled faces. They looked at each other, and at Ryan like "Is she serious?" Ryan shouted out that I was MAMA to all of them. I stood there with Keziah in my snuggly as a line formed and I hugged, kissed squeezed and asked God to bless each and every one of them. They were laughing and honestly thought I must be crazy. Josiah was in Jerry's arms and was laughing out loud as he watched this whole thing. He then started to kiss Jerry's cheek repeatedly as to mimic what he was watching. As the line diminished I looked around and saw some shy ones that were not in the line. I walked up to each one of them and made sure they got a hug and kiss too, whether they wanted it or not. Then some other came running from another direction as if someone had gone to tell them what was going on. They said," I did not get a turn". Then a few of them came back for seconds. The young man who told me he wanted to be doctor for babies came back and I gave him four more kisses not just one. I stood there and waited until it was obvious there were no more in waiting. Even some of the older men that looked at least 18 or older came out to greet me and get a hug and kiss. I was so surprised! One of them held my hand for a long time and was speaking in Amharic, He did not speak English. When I asked Hoptamu to translate, he said, "He wants you to help him get out of here!" THIS WAS MY LAST CONVERSATION WITH ONE OF THEM!

Over the last several years the LORD has been impressing on us that pure religion is to care for the orphan. James 1:22, 27. We have been on this adoption journey for several years and have so far, adopted five children. We are now going to pursue adopting a few of these older boys if the LORD will allow and provide. But, for the first time, I now have a passion to care for the orphan in a new way. While I very sadly have to admit that I cannot adopt all of these children, and believe me I want to, I MUST DO SOMETHING to help make a difference and impact them in a some way. My heart and mind have been transformed! GOD HELP ME TO HELP THESE FORGOTTEN BOYS OF KOLFE.

So, what's in it for you? Well... nothing and everything...it's nothing short of a miracle what God does when we live the way He wants us to - for in the very act of being like Jesus - you meet Jesus in the eyes of an destitute, orphan boy who is filled with joy you have never known even with all your plenty - yes, even in a lonely child, a refugee, a homeless man. Look deep in his eyes, past the hunger, despair and dirt and you will find simple Jesus, the best and only kind.

I don't know how to help the boys in Kolfe. If you have ideas please go to this family's blog (link above) and start a dialogue. Take one step and you will begin to sense a fulfillment you have never known. Maybe you have gone to every self-help, Bible study to overcome some kind of despair from your own life and you still can't get over it. I promise you, when you stop thinking on your own despair and focus on rescuing others from their's - you will find that your despair is gone and indeed is now serving a great purpose. Rescue the perishing and your life will find the most beautiful perspective and finally... you will really know Jesus.